My Own Dear Thatha,
It had been so long since I spoke to you, since I came by to see you. I'd been waiting for the small weekend visit, and I know you were too. Waiting to just run thru de black gates, dump everything and throw myself into your arms... waitin for tat bear hug tat only you have given me...
... the day I was born you were so proud and happy, that I grew with the feeling of being loved intensely and fiercely. I grew up knowing that you thought I was the best. What wonders that did for my confidence, growing up. A beautiful carefree childhood. Hours on your lap as a child, long walks in your arms, and leisurely lunches with mamma. Discipline was there too...but never too much to hinder my running down the stairs at the hint of a reprimand from mummy or papa.
Staying together as such a close-knit unit, we were a part of each other...
From my earliest memories, I've always turned to you and mamma when I fell sick, or thought I was going to... All those long nights U've nursed me through...de many hours you've held me when I felt queasy...the innumerable aches and pains your hands have comforted me through... Years passed and you continued nursing me not just through sicknesses but heartaches too... tat day when i got upset about something and throwin a childish tantrum ran away to the terrace leaving the family room, you were the only one to come up and hug my tears away (n bring me dinner too...) tho the rest of them probably thought I din't deserve it ;) .... we din't care did we! And again years later when I wanted to join the family for a celebration, and was forced to go to school, i left the house in tears and you were the one who sent me off with a hug, despite the de fact that I was not behaving myself! Looking back I'm so grateful for de love n comfort HE gave me in you, thatha...
Coming back from school to a bowl of mangoes, a cool drink, a lassi... I'm yet to meet anyone as thoughtful as that! Do you remember how, long back, you used to cycle to mettupalayam just to get me a huge pack of those chips i loved... n every snack you made, i got to eat... But best of all I got to eat from your plate all the time...From the time i was de only kid in de house (n probably spoilt rotten)... n even after u had many more grandkids, i was de one tat loved eating off your plate... curd rice n pickle never ever will taste the way it did, bak then... if I cud jus go back to those times for a single visit... how I long for a single small revisit...
There's so much I want to say, as memories crowd in, thoughts jostle around, and in an effort to sequence them, I feel inadequate in expressing the person you were, and the love that bound us. I was always introduced as ur smart grand daughter (Gettikaari)... U've always bolstered my confidence and made me feel I could do things. And been so proud when eventually i did. I need that boost now, I need to kno i can go through this phase, thatha... U've always hugged my hurts, fears and tears away, How deeply I long for that now... sometimes the tears dont seem to stop...n i jus long for your comforting arms....Will anythin ever be able to comfort my distress, when all I want is for you to hold me...
Those days long ago, being the only child in the house... you both were my playmates... from shuttle with mamma, to watering the plants and hosing down the whole garden (and the walls of de house) with de garden hose with you... We've faced the sunniest of summer days. we've done things not many can boast of havin done with a grandad... I count myself extremely blessed... If it hurts so much cuz I knew u so well - Knowin u was DEFINITELY worth the pain.
When I look back, am so thankful to HIM , for our family... "You have given me a heritage of those who love the lord"... Am really thankful for the Heritage you have given us.... I owe ma faith, ma relationship with my Lord and in fact my strength in HIM, to your prayers, your words of encouragement, those many many loving strengthening letters, and the very life I saw you live day after day! The days that we've gone for meetings at church or somebody's place, remember how everyone else thought we were overdoing it... it used to be really funny cuz we've really had awesome times at those meets... you've even come with me to meets where de only other people were from the youth fellowship; you could blend with any group.
Some memories are so tangible, they make me feel I could reach out and touch them. Like the times we've cycled together, right from the days where I had to struggle to keep your pace... I treasure every conversation... every word of advice I heard then!
How much we've enjoyed Sunday nights, singing together, and if no one came, we just sang - the three of us... Me, remaining the kid and parking myself between both of you even after all these years... My precious comfort seat at home... The thought of coming home now, haunts me, its like a piece of my heart has been torn away!
Every year as I grew, you were concerned about my spiritual growth, all the verses and promises that came on my birthday card, have taught me, chastened me, encouraged me and strengthened me... I cannot for the life of me imagine a birthday without those words of promise and love from you. However far I was from home, it was always a piece of home that I tasted when those cards and letters reached me.
Your last Bible study notes were about how God turns bad into good... It was the same way this past summer when I was upset about getting chicken pox just before leaving for a new job. I was all the more grieved by the fact that while family came from all over to celebrate your 80th birthday, I couldn't join in the fun and fellowship cuz I had to be in isolation... How much i cribbed about how it was the last birthday celebration I would be at home for, n I was missing it!
It had been so long since I spoke to you, since I came by to see you. I'd been waiting for the small weekend visit, and I know you were too. Waiting to just run thru de black gates, dump everything and throw myself into your arms... waitin for tat bear hug tat only you have given me...
... the day I was born you were so proud and happy, that I grew with the feeling of being loved intensely and fiercely. I grew up knowing that you thought I was the best. What wonders that did for my confidence, growing up. A beautiful carefree childhood. Hours on your lap as a child, long walks in your arms, and leisurely lunches with mamma. Discipline was there too...but never too much to hinder my running down the stairs at the hint of a reprimand from mummy or papa.
Staying together as such a close-knit unit, we were a part of each other...
From my earliest memories, I've always turned to you and mamma when I fell sick, or thought I was going to... All those long nights U've nursed me through...de many hours you've held me when I felt queasy...the innumerable aches and pains your hands have comforted me through... Years passed and you continued nursing me not just through sicknesses but heartaches too... tat day when i got upset about something and throwin a childish tantrum ran away to the terrace leaving the family room, you were the only one to come up and hug my tears away (n bring me dinner too...) tho the rest of them probably thought I din't deserve it ;) .... we din't care did we! And again years later when I wanted to join the family for a celebration, and was forced to go to school, i left the house in tears and you were the one who sent me off with a hug, despite the de fact that I was not behaving myself! Looking back I'm so grateful for de love n comfort HE gave me in you, thatha...
Coming back from school to a bowl of mangoes, a cool drink, a lassi... I'm yet to meet anyone as thoughtful as that! Do you remember how, long back, you used to cycle to mettupalayam just to get me a huge pack of those chips i loved... n every snack you made, i got to eat... But best of all I got to eat from your plate all the time...From the time i was de only kid in de house (n probably spoilt rotten)... n even after u had many more grandkids, i was de one tat loved eating off your plate... curd rice n pickle never ever will taste the way it did, bak then... if I cud jus go back to those times for a single visit... how I long for a single small revisit...
There's so much I want to say, as memories crowd in, thoughts jostle around, and in an effort to sequence them, I feel inadequate in expressing the person you were, and the love that bound us. I was always introduced as ur smart grand daughter (Gettikaari)... U've always bolstered my confidence and made me feel I could do things. And been so proud when eventually i did. I need that boost now, I need to kno i can go through this phase, thatha... U've always hugged my hurts, fears and tears away, How deeply I long for that now... sometimes the tears dont seem to stop...n i jus long for your comforting arms....Will anythin ever be able to comfort my distress, when all I want is for you to hold me...
Those days long ago, being the only child in the house... you both were my playmates... from shuttle with mamma, to watering the plants and hosing down the whole garden (and the walls of de house) with de garden hose with you... We've faced the sunniest of summer days. we've done things not many can boast of havin done with a grandad... I count myself extremely blessed... If it hurts so much cuz I knew u so well - Knowin u was DEFINITELY worth the pain.
When I look back, am so thankful to HIM , for our family... "You have given me a heritage of those who love the lord"... Am really thankful for the Heritage you have given us.... I owe ma faith, ma relationship with my Lord and in fact my strength in HIM, to your prayers, your words of encouragement, those many many loving strengthening letters, and the very life I saw you live day after day! The days that we've gone for meetings at church or somebody's place, remember how everyone else thought we were overdoing it... it used to be really funny cuz we've really had awesome times at those meets... you've even come with me to meets where de only other people were from the youth fellowship; you could blend with any group.
Some memories are so tangible, they make me feel I could reach out and touch them. Like the times we've cycled together, right from the days where I had to struggle to keep your pace... I treasure every conversation... every word of advice I heard then!
How much we've enjoyed Sunday nights, singing together, and if no one came, we just sang - the three of us... Me, remaining the kid and parking myself between both of you even after all these years... My precious comfort seat at home... The thought of coming home now, haunts me, its like a piece of my heart has been torn away!
Every year as I grew, you were concerned about my spiritual growth, all the verses and promises that came on my birthday card, have taught me, chastened me, encouraged me and strengthened me... I cannot for the life of me imagine a birthday without those words of promise and love from you. However far I was from home, it was always a piece of home that I tasted when those cards and letters reached me.
Your last Bible study notes were about how God turns bad into good... It was the same way this past summer when I was upset about getting chicken pox just before leaving for a new job. I was all the more grieved by the fact that while family came from all over to celebrate your 80th birthday, I couldn't join in the fun and fellowship cuz I had to be in isolation... How much i cribbed about how it was the last birthday celebration I would be at home for, n I was missing it!
But now when I look back, I'm so grateful for it. Cuz tho' you were in danger of infection, you were the only one who came n sat with me in my room everyday, day after day while I battled with the sickness and the lonliness of isolation in ma last few days at home. And when I played truant on your birthday, escaping from my isolation to come down to your birthday, and hid in de bushes outside the house, you were the only one concerned that I might get bitten by insects, as opposed to everyone else who was concerned about catching the pox from me. Every single day, You climbed up de stairs countless times, carrying fruits with sugar, juices, tender coconut... and every kind of thing that you thought would make me feel better. And the BEST part was de amount of time i got to spend with you each day. Specially de hours we spent on de terrace talking about a million things, best of all about ancestors and family ties, are so vivid in my mind to this day!
There's so much I wanna tell you now... So much I'd like to ask, that I can't really accept the fact that I can't! I badly wanna reach out in some way - talk and hear u talk, to hold onto you and be held... I wanna reach out...
U taught me so much... U strengthened me so much, that now when I want you so much, I realize all I need to do is to reach out to HIM... As I turn to Him in worship and praise, I know we're together in the same throne room worshiping our God. And I'm so grateful that the strongest bond between us remains... we can sing together like we always did, and praise Him, with unified spirits...
I thank the Lord for giving me you, Thatha... n never would I ever think of asking Him why He took you from me... Cuz I know you were a blessing for so long, and I cherish every moment spent, every song sung, every dream shared, every prayer prayed and every experience ever had, with you. I know now, that you'l live in me forever, and your beliefs and values, your desires and vision, your zeal and passion will always be a part of me, inspiring me in everything I do, driving me to live like how you would've wanted me to live.
Love you so SO so much forever ..... My dearest Thatha,
Preeti
There's so much I wanna tell you now... So much I'd like to ask, that I can't really accept the fact that I can't! I badly wanna reach out in some way - talk and hear u talk, to hold onto you and be held... I wanna reach out...
U taught me so much... U strengthened me so much, that now when I want you so much, I realize all I need to do is to reach out to HIM... As I turn to Him in worship and praise, I know we're together in the same throne room worshiping our God. And I'm so grateful that the strongest bond between us remains... we can sing together like we always did, and praise Him, with unified spirits...
I thank the Lord for giving me you, Thatha... n never would I ever think of asking Him why He took you from me... Cuz I know you were a blessing for so long, and I cherish every moment spent, every song sung, every dream shared, every prayer prayed and every experience ever had, with you. I know now, that you'l live in me forever, and your beliefs and values, your desires and vision, your zeal and passion will always be a part of me, inspiring me in everything I do, driving me to live like how you would've wanted me to live.
Love you so SO so much forever ..... My dearest Thatha,
Preeti
